A Letter to Future Me – 7 to 17
May 27, 2024
During primary school in 1997, we were asked as a class to write down our hopes for the future and what we’d like to achieve in life. I would’ve been 7 years old at the time and my obsession was completely on the James Bond franchise so you can imagine what sort of mad illiterate shit I was going to expect from my older self by the time I was only SEVENTEEN…
I recall not really having a fucking clue what to write, so I kept it pretty brief and to the point. When I was done, I was told to write on the back to not open until 2007:
Well, I stuck to the promise I made myself and opened it up when I was around 17.
This is what I wrote:
Let me translate this little goblin’s text:
I hope that I become A agent and I pay the morgage off and I hope I win the Lottery and get a good car and meet James Bond and travel to America Again and Get a Big house and thats it.
PS meet micheal owen
Simon (Goblin form) age 7
… Yeah.
So, how did I do? (The below won’t look good on mobile devices FYI)
| Age 7 Goal | Age 17 Response | Age 34 (Present) Response |
|---|---|---|
| Become a secret agent | I’m fat with bad vision. | I can confirm by age 17 I was not a secret agent nor could I ever find any ads for secret agents. Weird. Sorry little me, ain’t happening. ❌ |
| Get a big house and pay off the mortgage | WTF!? I’m 17! | Imagine owning a house and paying it off at 17, Jesus Christ. I guess much later on I did technically pay the mortgage off once when I sold a house, but I know I meant living without any property bills in a massive mansion… so NOPE. ❌❌ |
| Win the lottery | 🙁 | 🙁 ❌ |
| Get a good car | Hopefully someday I’ll be able to drive! | Poor little me, I had such aspirations of driving, yet my eyes are way too shit to even read number plates from 21m. ❌ |
| Meet James Bond | I really don’t care about that stuff anymore, James Bond got bad after Pierce Brosnan. | It took me years to watch Casino Royale and all of Daniel Craig’s movies, and I wish I watched them sooner, they’re badass. But no, I never got to meet Pierce Brosnan sadly. ❌ |
| Travel to America again | Dude, I’m spending my days and nights drinking full fat coke and gobbling pizzas until 4am watching WWE. Leave me alone. | I’ve been fortunate enough to go to America a couple of times in both 2010 and 2018 with the plan to go to Hawaii sometime in the near future! ✅ |
| Meet Michael Owen | Football sucks ass, don’t care anymore. | I had a SUPER brief phase in my younger life where I loved Liverpool’s Robbie Fowler and Michael Owen for some reason LOL I honestly hate football. It was probably because of the stickers + N64 Fifa 98 game. But yeah, I think football is pretty boring honestly.❌ |
What a let down 😜.
A big part of me wants to try and achieve these goals for my inner child, but at the same time, winning the lottery is almost certainly not going to happen 😂, so I think this is a lost cause.